Later, I began to realize that the combination of those two purchases represented something about my life. Ever have one of those, "How in the world did I get here?" moments? I suppose I had one of those that day.
One of my favorite scriptures of all time is Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, "'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Many times, this reference is used in reference to newborns or graduating high school seniors, however, I feels it applies to all of us on a daily basis. How many times have I been disappointed by God's movement, or lack of movement. If I am to answer that question honestly, I must confess, many times over!
Back to my example. When I mentioned high heels, you must realize that the shoes I was purchasing that day were in no way the same kind of heels that I used to wear! When I was in college and in my early 20's, shoes were what I saved my money for. I would scout out the local specialty shoe stores, they knew me by name, on a weekly basis. Once I found THE pair of shoes, I saved and saved. Now, I am going to "date" myself when I say, I would put them on "layaway." Every extra dollar I had would be stashed away in an envelop until I had enough to break those stilettos out of jail!
Looking at those shoes at the check out line, I realized that they represented something long past. I am still the same person, still love shoes, however, I have definitely changed. The shoes are not the same style as they used to be. The shoes are more practical. The shoes are more functional. The styles and heel height have been altered to suit my present needs. I am no longer in my 20's, I am in my mid 40's, therefore, I can no longer "work" those shoes as I once could. My life has been altered through my experiences and by my perceptions of those experiences.
This is just one example of the cruelness of life and I am being facetious here, but in all seriousness, this is a difficult part of life. It is overwhelming to come to the realization that things we have worked for or dreamed about just haven't turned out the way we planned. I never planned for my father to suddenly pass away from a massive heart attack at age 59, but that is what happened. I never planned to wait 6 1/2 years for our precious Paige to be born. I never planned to give up on having more children, but I did. I never planned for illness to strike our beautiful 11 year old daughter and change her life forever, but it did. I never planned on losing a job and being left with nothing for months on end, having to receive groceries and money from virtual strangers, but it did, more than once! I never planned on injuring my back to the point of being unable to walk for 6 months, but it happened! None of these events were planned, not by me anyway! However, each one of them has taught me something about myself, and something about life in general. I would not be who I am today without each of these heart breaking experiences.
This leads me to the fiber - the reality of where I am in life! Anyone else relate?! Fiber is for old people, right? No, not really! It is certainly NOT something I ever envisioned needing! Fortunately, the Lord gives us the opportunity over and over to practice accepting reality, by giving us larger doses of it as time goes on! So, what do we do when we realize we are not in the place we thought we would be or things have not turned out the way we expected?
Isaiah 25:1 reminds me that ". . . in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." All the high heels and all the fiber of my life was planned long ago by the One who knows exactly what I need and when I need it. God has not been blind-sided by my sudden need for certain things or over my turning away from others. It is all part of His plan for my life. His plan, which is perfect, to give me hope and a future. Yes, the realization of certain realities may be painful, but only last for a season.
Going back to Jeremiah 29 verses 13 and 14, God reminds us that when we seek Him with all of our heart, we will find Him, "I will be found by you." Are you looking for him in your shoe choices? How about in the those "fiber" times of life, are you finding Him there?
Allowing ourselves to release the past (heels) and embrace the present (fiber), gives us the clarity of thought we need to focus on His future.
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