Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Hi, my name is . . .


My father was a very opinionated man. His approval or lack of approval affected me more than I can even convey. As a little girl, there was nothing better than sharing something with my dad and having his face light up with satisfaction and pride over something I had accomplished or achieved. That did not stop when I became an adult. In fact, I think my need for his approval increased. When something life changing would come my way, Dad was the first person I wanted to share it with. I needed his advice, comfort, and opinion. I needed to know what he thought not only about the situation, but his opinion of me. Then one day, he was gone; consumed by a massive heart attack and gone in an instant. Ten years later, I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone and share moments of my life with him.
My mom is the quiet advice giver. She has shown me more than she has told me. Her perspective is very different than Dad’s. I value her opinion and need it just as much as I needed his.
Having the approval of someone we love often equates with how we view ourselves. If someone is pleased with me, then I must be a good person; positive feedback = good person. The flip side is the opposite; negative feedback = bad person.
The society in which we live is a performance driven environment. When we meet someone for the first time part of our initial conversation includes, “Hi my name
is. . .” and then we pause to receive their response. This leads to other questions such as, “What do you do for a living?” or “How many children do you have?” or “Where do you live?” The answers to these questions quickly begin to formulate a picture and tell a story of the person we have just met. For example, she is a doctor, she lives in an exclusive gated community, she has twelve children. Our responses shape the opinions of others and ultimately lead them to draw certain conclusions which, over time, can eventually begin to define who we are.. Some might think; Oh, she’s a doctor, she must be rich. A gated community?! Rich and untouchable! What? Twelve kids?!! Ok this chick is rich, untouchable, and crazy! The more we answer these same questions, the more our answers shape who we become and God says we are much more than what we do or where we live or what we have!
None of the above answers are wrong, after all, they are based on facts about our lives. God may have gifted you as a doctor and blessed you with an opportunity to live in a gated community and if He has, more power to you! You go girl with those twelve little ones! An issue arises when we begin to allow the facts of our lives to define who we are. Yes, I may be a doctor (not really), and I may live in an exclusive gated community (I wish!), and I may have twelve children (no, I do not), but these things only characterize my situation or position in life, not my soul or my purpose.
We all want to be liked. I believe it is a basic human need. Unfortunately, none of us enjoy this all the time. There will always be those who disagree with our profession, the way you raise our children, and our opinions. Jesus himself did not have everyone’s approval all of the time. However, there was one whose opinion mattered most of all, His heavenly Father.
So, what is God’s opinion you? What does He think about me? I am sure there are times when He laughs at me, maybe even yells at me, possibly shakes His head in complete frustration. Through it all, He still loves me.
Remember the old saying that goes something like, “They broke the mold when they made you.” Well, guess what, He really did. Each one of us are created completely different, yet still in the image of God. Isn’t that a crazy thought?!!
Life is full of choices; some made by us and some made by others. I have been overwhelmed at times by choices made on my behalf that could have defined who I was. As Bill and I prepare to celebrate 23 years of marriage, I am reminded of standing before an altar looking into his eyes and having him choose me to be his wife. Three years ago, we stood before a congregation of people who voted unanimously for us to be their shepherd and lead the congregation of Bethlehem Chapel. These are just two examples of times where I have been completely consumed with responsibility and joy all at the same time. I could easily have let these two situations ultimately define who I am. Yet, John 15:16 lays out something different for each of us, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last. . .” We have been chosen by the One who set the foundation of the world! God must think we are capable of more than we realize and able to accomplish His will here on earth.
The following is from an outstanding book by Dr. Neil Anderson “Living Free in Christ.” I highly recommend it! Here is what God thinks about you. You are. . .

Salt and light of the earth (Matthew 5:13-14)
A branch of the true vine (John 15:1, 5)
God’s temple (1 Corinthians 3:16)
A minister of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:17-21)
God’s co-worker (1 Corinthians 3:9)
Seated with Christ (Ephesians 2:6)
God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)
God’s child (John 1:12)
Justified (Romans 5:1)
Adopted as God’s child (Ephesians 1:5)
Redeemed and forgiven (Colossians 1:14)
Complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10)

Using myself as an example, I am so much more than a wife, mother, or the sum of my many other roles. Each one is important, but they are not the true definition of who I am. The next time you meet someone, ask them the tough questions, the ones that get to the core of who they really are and the position they want to be. Ask them about their hopes and dreams, their desires and plans, their goals and gifts, don’t be satisfied with the response to the usual, “Hi, my name is. . .”