When did I forget. . . ?

No one wants to be forgotten. It is a small child's greatest fear. It is a the greatest fear of those nearing the end of their lives. Forgotten.

Webster's second definition of the word forget is, "To treat with inattention or disregard; to slight; to neglect." To forget means we have had memory or knowledge of something at the start. At some point, whether through inattention or neglect, we forget that which we know to be true.

I love the stories about Nehemiah in the Old Testament. Nehemiah was in the service of King Artaxerxes of Susa. He learns from Hanani, his brother, that his homeland of Jerusalem is in danger. The walls surrounding his beloved city have been destroyed and his people are in grave danger. King Artaxerxes notices his despair and listens to his concerns. Nehemiah wants to rebuild the city! The king grants his request. That was easy.

Of course, the rebuilding is not easy. There is opposition, specifically by two men named Sanballat and Tobiah. Camps are formed and plans are made to halt the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem. Nemehiah 4:8 "They all plotted together to come and fight against Jerusalem and stir up trouble against it."

Here is my favorite verse of this chapter, verse 9, "BUT WE PRAYED to our God. . ." I do not think Nehemiah forgot who God was or what He could do! They did not run, they did not hide, they did not quarrel amongst themselves or complain, they prayed.

In my devotions this morning there was this line regarding a story of a woman's faith, "Through prayer, she regained a proper perspective of God." My perspective of God is often times shaped by my surroundings and my circumstances. However, the author of this devotional was saying that prayer can "right" a "wrong" perspective.

When did I forget that God has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand? When did I forget that the breadth of His hand marked off the heavens? When did I forget that He holds the dust of the earth in a basket or that He weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills on a balance? (Isaiah 40:12)

"To whom, then, will you compare God? What image will you compare him to?" (Isaiah 40:18) What earthly image is there to compare God? As difficult as it is for me to wrap my mind around the concept of eternity this verse reminds me that it is equally difficult to even begin to compare Him to anything that I can see, touch, feel, or experience.

When did I forget. . . ?

High Heels and Fiber

This weekend I was at a large retail store making a purchase. As I finished shopping and was checking out, I happened to glance down at the conveyor belt where I had placed my items for check out. I had to laugh because on that belt were; a pair of high heels and a container of fiber! What a combo! I never thought I would arrive at this day, purchasing fiber!

Later, I began to realize that the combination of those two purchases represented something about my life. Ever have one of those, "How in the world did I get here?" moments? I suppose I had one of those that day.

One of my favorite scriptures of all time is Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, "'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Many times, this reference is used in reference to newborns or graduating high school seniors, however, I feels it applies to all of us on a daily basis. How many times have I been disappointed by God's movement, or lack of movement. If I am to answer that question honestly, I must confess, many times over!

Back to my example. When I mentioned high heels, you must realize that the shoes I was purchasing that day were in no way the same kind of heels that I used to wear! When I was in college and in my early 20's, shoes were what I saved my money for. I would scout out the local specialty shoe stores, they knew me by name, on a weekly basis. Once I found THE pair of shoes, I saved and saved. Now, I am going to "date" myself when I say, I would put them on "layaway." Every extra dollar I had would be stashed away in an envelop until I had enough to break those stilettos out of jail!

Looking at those shoes at the check out line, I realized that they represented something long past. I am still the same person, still love shoes, however, I have definitely changed. The shoes are not the same style as they used to be. The shoes are more practical. The shoes are more functional. The styles and heel height have been altered to suit my present needs. I am no longer in my 20's, I am in my mid 40's, therefore, I can no longer "work" those shoes as I once could. My life has been altered through my experiences and by my perceptions of those experiences.

This is just one example of the cruelness of life and I am being facetious here, but in all seriousness, this is a difficult part of life. It is overwhelming to come to the realization that things we have worked for or dreamed about just haven't turned out the way we planned. I never planned for my father to suddenly pass away from a massive heart attack at age 59, but that is what happened. I never planned to wait 6 1/2 years for our precious Paige to be born. I never planned to give up on having more children, but I did. I never planned for illness to strike our beautiful 11 year old daughter and change her life forever, but it did. I never planned on losing a job and being left with nothing for months on end, having to receive groceries and money from virtual strangers, but it did, more than once! I never planned on injuring my back to the point of being unable to walk for 6 months, but it happened! None of these events were planned, not by me anyway! However, each one of them has taught me something about myself, and something about life in general. I would not be who I am today without each of these heart breaking experiences.

This leads me to the fiber - the reality of where I am in life! Anyone else relate?! Fiber is for old people, right? No, not really! It is certainly NOT something I ever envisioned needing! Fortunately, the Lord gives us the opportunity over and over to practice accepting reality, by giving us larger doses of it as time goes on! So, what do we do when we realize we are not in the place we thought we would be or things have not turned out the way we expected?

Isaiah 25:1 reminds me that ". . . in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." All the high heels and all the fiber of my life was planned long ago by the One who knows exactly what I need and when I need it. God has not been blind-sided by my sudden need for certain things or over my turning away from others. It is all part of His plan for my life. His plan, which is perfect, to give me hope and a future. Yes, the realization of certain realities may be painful, but only last for a season.

Going back to Jeremiah 29 verses 13 and 14, God reminds us that when we seek Him with all of our heart, we will find Him, "I will be found by you." Are you looking for him in your shoe choices? How about in the those "fiber" times of life, are you finding Him there?

Allowing ourselves to release the past (heels) and embrace the present (fiber), gives us the clarity of thought we need to focus on His future.